Winter's Pain
by Chibi-Shibi
Summary: A story about love, war, and loss. Warnings for Character Death(s).


**Prompt: Ace of Swords: Reversed: Confusion, Brutality, Chaos**

**Optional Prompts: [season] Winter, [quote] "Any bright ideas now, fearless leader?", 8 [song] Let Me Down Slowly**

**Prompt (TGS Ollivander's Shop): 10–11 inch: Write about a Slytherin character.**

**Prompt (TGS Nautical Challenge): Regulus Black and Severus Snape - H.M.S. Obscure Loyalties**

**Prompt (TGS Through the Universe): Planemo — (character) Regulus Black**

**Prompt (IWSC Summer Camp): Write about the Aurors on a case.**

**Warnings: Character Death(s).**

**Word Count: 2236 (Google Docs), not including song lyrics.**

* * *

Severus stood stone-faced, even though he was internally horrified at the sight in front of him. The girl was screaming her heart out on the floor, just near his feet, but he did not even flinch. Inside, he was itching to help her, to do anything to stop her pain. But he couldn't, of course. He had a role to play, a facade to keep up, and he couldn't fail.

He wrapped his robes closer to himself to keep out the chill in the stone-walled room, and to prevent the shivers that were running down his spine. Sometimes he wondered how it was that even after all these years, he was not immune to the horrific brutalities that the Dark Lord took such great pleasure in. He would tell himself that maybe it was proof that he still had a soul, a fact he had often questioned.

Of late, though, Voldemort and his Death Eaters had grown bolder, and widened their horizons, so to speak. The girl - no longer shrieking, out of exhaustion, but still convulsing as each wave of the various curses hit her - was one of the last children from the orphanage that the Death Eaters had raided. Her friends had already been dealt with.

Severus was concerned that they had moved onto attacking Muggles and Muggle institutions so boldly. He wondered what that meant for what remained of the Ministry, which had been suppressed, but not yet disbanded, by the Death Eaters. Nonetheless, he and a lot of former Order members were now officially Aurors since no one saw any point in having two institutions with the exact same goal anymore. The lesser the organisations that Voldemort knew about, the better.

Lost in thought, he had wholly tuned out his Master's voice, as he gave a variant of the usual speech about victory over the Muggles and Muggleborns. The girl, who had now been released from the bonds of life, could not have been more than ten years old, lay lifeless near his feet.

_So we are done for the day,_ he told himself, relieved, just as Voldemort dismissed them all.

Severus apparated away into an empty old house. The place was magically Unplottable to anyone who didn't know of it, so if the Dark Lord ever decided to track his Apparition, he would seem to have gone to Spinner's End instead. Severus took a deep breath and walked towards the back of the house. The floor creaked as he stepped as he walked cautiously, and the winds howled loudly outside the rickety wooden house, which barely seemed to be holding itself together. Severus reached the back door and stood in front of it, muttering a spell under his breath. The handle glowed with a soft golden hue as he turned it and opened the door to step into the building that was now the Ministry.

* * *

"Any bright ideas now, _fearless leader_?" Draco Malfoy asked sarcastically.

Severus glared unappreciatively at his godson. He knew that Draco, while he wanted Voldemort's defeat, did not approve of Harry being placed as interim Minister after Kingsley's death.

"In fact, yes. I do have one. We should attack them," Harry said, leaving the hall speechless.

"Have you lost your mind, Potter?" Snape hissed. "I have just told you that they have grown stronger, and that they are targeting even Muggles, and-"

"And they will continue to grow stronger, the longer we wait."

Severus stopped short. The boy _was _right. In the past few months, the Aurors had barely been able to do anything to keep the Death Eaters in check. Harry's idea might sound insane, but he was right, and there was no indirect way to go about it, at least not anymore.

"There is no other way, Professor," Harry said, sadly.

Severus nodded in reply. Even Draco looked suitably chastised.

Harry continued to speak about how they would plan everything out, with inputs from other Aurors as required. Severus once again began to wonder what it all had been for. All of his efforts, and it would culminate in a war that the Light Side was very likely to lose. His train of thought was interrupted by a distinct voice.

"_I'll go too." _

It was Regulus who spoke. Severus looked up sharply. _Surely he knows that this is nothing more than a suicide mission? _

But he saw the glint of determination in Regulus' eyes, so he let it be, for the moment. He knew that not all of the people in the room trusted him, even now, so it might be best to voice his reservations in private, lest they think he didn't want the best for them.

* * *

_This night is cold in the kingdom,_

_I can feel you fade away,_

_From the kitchen to the bathroom sink and,_

_Your steps keep me awake._

Severus sat awake on the bed, waiting for Regulus to return from the strategy meeting with the Aurors who were planning to attack the Death Eaters on the morrow. He had left the window open on purpose, letting the cold air come in and make him shiver. It was an odd sort of self-inflicted pain, but he could not bring himself to care about the sanity of his decision, after the day's events. His mind kept going back to the little girl who he saw so terribly tortured and murdered, while he stood there and did nothing. As another gust of wind entered the room and made him curl up a little more, his mind whispered, '_I wonder if she felt this cold too, in that vast stone room, in only her nightclothes.'_

He heard the door creak open and turned his head to find his lover walking in.

"Are you alright?" Regulus asked, looking at his shivering body and the open window. He spelled the glass panes shut and rushed over to Severus.

"Severus?" he asked again, having received no reply.

"Yes."

Regulus was not convinced at all.

"What happened?" he asked patiently.

Severus shook his head, and sat there silently. Regulus waited for a while. "The girl. I saw what they did to her."

"I know."

"I'm afraid that they'll do the same to you."

An uncomfortable silence reigned in the little room, broken only by the sound of the cold hail pattering against the window.

Severus turned to Regulus. "Why are you going tomorrow?"

Regulus looked away guiltily. "I haven't been able to do anything for the Ministry lately and I-"

"And you won't be able to do anything if you are _dead_."

Regulus glared at Severus. "My decision is my own, Severus. If I die tomorrow, I'll have died for a good cause."

"I can't lose you, Regulus. I can't lose you _too._ You have a chance to live. The Dark Lord doesn't even know you are alive. If he finds out, he will never spare you. But if you keep to the shadows, you could live a better life..." _With me, perhaps,_ he added mentally.

Regulus didn't reply. Instead, he turned over and lay down, covering himself with his blanket. Severus stared at him, the soft rising and falling of his chest, and felt a tear slip down his face.

It was as if he was already fading away.

* * *

_Don't cut me down, throw me out, leave me here to waste,_

_I once was a man with dignity and grace,_

_Now I'm slipping through the cracks of your cold embrace._

Severus stared outside the window, watching the sunrise. He hadn't been able to sleep at all, and his face was even paler and more drawn than usual.

There was nothing outside worth mentioning anymore. Most of Wizarding Britain lay in rubble, similar to the sights outside his window. It was just rubble, and scorched earth, so saturated with the magic of dark curses that nothing would grow on it anymore. There was a thick layer of snow covering everything; making it look even more lifeless, almost like a corpse covered in white sheets.

This was what the war had done, and he was scared it would be the same for Muggle Britain too, soon enough. If they were lucky today, they would succeed in killing Voldemort himself, and it would send the Death Eaters into disarray. Hopefully, that would be enough for the Aurors to bring things back into some kind of control, and perhaps capture the big fish. At least, that was the plan.

It was the best plan they could have come up with, given the circumstances, but Severus doubted it would succeed, as did most of the Aurors themselves. At this point, they did not have any other option, and they had to at least try.

Severus was one of the few who had stayed back. He could not afford to blow his cover on the chance that they lost. They might need him to continue spying if things went awry, though he wondered if enough people would even be left to resist Voldemort for him to spy for, if they lost.

He couldn't stop thinking about Regulus. _What if he is hurt? Or worse…_ Severus had seen many deaths over the years. But the horrifying memories of the deaths of those he loved deeply were still seared into his brain. They were still the stuff of his nightmares. _Eileen Prince. Lily Evans Potter. And now...perhaps… Regulus Black._

He choked back a sob at the thought. He _knew_ that Regulus was needed at the front, but he would have given anything for him to be standing safely next to him.

A silver stag emerged from the forest as looked on. It was headed for the house. _Potter's Patronus._ Severus quickly made his way to the living room where the others were waiting.

The next few moments and the words that would come out of the Patronus' mouth would determine everything.

* * *

_Could you find a way to let me down slowly?_

_A little sympathy, I hope you can show me,_

_If you wanna go, then I'll be so lonely,_

_If you're leaving, baby let me down slowly._

Severus felt numb as he watched them float Regulus' body inside. There were no tears, no screaming. He simply felt empty.

From the wounds, Severus could tell that he had been subjected to hours of the Cruciatus curse, along with several other hexes. Many of his bones had been broken, and there were far too many gashes and bruises to count. The marks of _Sectumsempra_, Severus' own spell, were slashed across his throat. It was what had finally killed him by making him choke on his own blood.

Severus was not shocked at the brutality of the Death Eaters. He had expected as much. In fact, he had expected Regulus' death. Yet, he felt the suddenness of it very keenly. Less than two days ago, they had both been some form of content in the relative safety of the Ministry building. And here, suddenly, everything had changed completely.

His knees buckled, and he fell to the ground. The world was spinning far too rapidly around him. His only stationary centre was Regulus' face. He looked ashen, but Severus could not help but extend an arm and touch his cheek, almost as if trying to balance himself and find some gravity.

The sheer _coldness_ of his lover's face was the first thing that he registered. Regulus had always been a source of warmth to Severus' coldness. How the tables had turned.

Severus took his hand in his own, and stared blankly into space, even as every happy memory that they had formed in the chaos and horror of the Dark Lord's reign played in front of his eyes.

* * *

_Cold skin, drag my feet on the tile,_

_And I know we haven't talked in a while._

Severus knelt in front of the snow-covered tomb. He was rereading the etching on the stone for the thousandth time.

_Here lies Regulus Black. _

_A martyr._

He had always felt that those two words were not nearly enough to describe everything that Regulus was. To Severus, he had been _everything._

It would be a year, today. A year since he died. A year since, against all the odds, _they had won._ The Dark Lord's temper and ego had blinded him. While he and his inner circle had been torturing Regulus for his betrayal all those years ago, the rest of the Aurors had laid enough traps and curses around them. It had rendered most of the Death Eaters helpless, and the rest had simply died. By the time they had realised, it was too late. Harry Potter had killed the Dark Lord, as prophesied, and the War, which had lasted for far too long and taken far too many lives, both innocent and guilty, had ended.

Everything had fallen together for the Light Side that day. Everything except Severus' life.

After Regulus' death, the emptiness had overtaken him. He had spent the past year hunting down the rest of the Death Eaters and making sure they got an end as painful as Regulus'. As everyone else focussed on rebuilding what had been destroyed, Severus was out for brutal vengeance. He knew Harry and some of the others disapproved of his methods, but none of them spoke openly against him, and so he had paid them no heed. They had probably let him be because they thought that Regulus' death had broken him in some way.

They weren't really wrong.

But now, all the possible Death Eaters were either dead, imprisoned, or out of his reach. He no longer had anything left to do; he had avenged both Regulus and Lily. He had no purpose anymore.

And he was _tired._

And so, a year after the Dark Lord's defeat, Severus Snape knelt by the grave of the martyr who meant the most to him. He sat there, silent and unmoving, until the cold winds that made him shiver and his skin turn blue, and the exhaustion that made his mind whirl and the world spin, overtook him, making his world go _Black_, one last time.

_And I can't stop myself from falling down,_

_And I can't stop myself from falling down,_

_And I can't stop myself from falling down..._


End file.
